Sunday, March 22, 2009
after so long.. back to blogging
well well ... i back to blogging ... ya .. it been quite a while though ..... so let me start from ....
19/3 which is thur .... yeah went to meet kim to pass him games that is the orange box which also known as team fortress 2 and crysis warhead ... haha ... and guess wad .. becos i have nth to do at home , we played left 4 dead and team fortress in yuhua mac .. from 230 -630 ... it was fun though .. we trying to make ppl catch our attention becos we laugh a bit loud u see ... haha .... overall left 4 dead was quite fun but team fortress i muz say i lose kim becos i dunno how to play .. haha ... also si da came and join us as he has nth to do at home .. so that all for thur ....
20/3 fri ....
well ... this day .. 230 went for driving .... 500 reach home ... on the way back .. i was juz too emo ... hhaha ... cos .. i see most ppl evrri tim after driving got gf waiting for them or let say got other appointment but me got no appointment ... i am juz too emo .... so reached home .. bathe and straight after dinner .... GAMES!!!! ... and i had been scolded by my dad .... cos he sy i have been playing game from the time i reach home to the time he is going to work which is 10 pm currently now .... and thanks to the ew today ... the news say that playing too much games for youngster like us can led to murder and etc .. and juz now the game they show is the game i used to play .. and dad scolded me as i have played more than 5 hours and also i have been doing this for the past 2 mths holiday .... becos of economic crisis .. i couldnt find any work .. even have job, i juz cant work becos mon , wed and fri got driving .... i was scolded for laziness for not going out to find job and onli sitting down at home toplay video games and the most i go out is to bring my laptop to play with friends or to go for bball .... while he was scolding .. i was still playing , with friends somemore .... suddenly while he scolding ... i did feel agitated , unhappy but i got the feeling of crying becos dad dun understand my situation .. he thinks that i nv find work becos im lazy ... my parents dun understand me well ... so i didnt wan to quarrel with them ... actually recently i juz need some one to listen to my problems and stress .... i tried to find ppl that are close to me but they doesnt seem to willing listen to me .. terry .... i wanted to tell him de ... but he either busy playing his game at home or going out with his friend ... even meet up i wan to tell him he will be a step faster than me as in he will say his problem first ... so ended up i have no chane to talk ... recently i wanted to go labrador park .. i have the urge .. cos nature can calm my mind ... but terry who at first say he was willing to cycle ended up saying lazy .. veri tired and had reject to cycle to me for 5 times alreadi ... my wish to go labrador park is going veri dim .... cos if i will to go alone, it will be meaningless ... the journey muz be accompany by friend when cycling or else it will not be fun .... yes.... i also sms her to go play pool and bowl becos me and terry was free .. but ended up i myself cancel it becos she got meeting at 3 pluz with her friends while terry still the same old reason , TIRED!
21/3 sat ....
today i nv play games ... becos of dad scolded me .. so i waked up hoping to go cycle with terry .. and again he say lazy ... so cycling trip today was out ... called for bball today but seem like most of them will out , chong need to go out with friend .. kim also .. terry ... haiz he say lazy .. but he need accompany ... why? becos he bought a gift for a gal whom in his eyes is his princess he is looking for ... so i accompany him becos he meeting th girl at west mall .. so saw the gal and terry was hiding beside me ... but ended up he did gave the gal the present ... lol ... after giving the present , the gal left and i can see terry was abit sad as she nv say thank u in of him or chat abit b4 she left .... the gal took the gift and hurry with her friend to the next destination ... i know terry was a bit sad but he sms her whether she like the watch and asked me to help him on how to continue with the sms .... so i helped ... but seeing him able to find a gf is gd ... but in my mind i was thinking he was like me and her last time ... haiz .... i am veri emo by that time ....
so after giving the present , we went separate way which mean we going home ... so send terry home first before i find my way home myself .... well .. the journey home was a wet one becos the sky start to rain and lighting and thunder is above my head and i am still walking home slowly .... i have no encouragement to go home becos i cant do anything at home onli to watch tv .... so reached home i did nth but to watch tv .. and evening fall ... the evening was a nice one ... it was an orange evening ... the world is in orange ... and i tell my sis maybe there is a rainbow becos it is orange and is also afer the rain .. and guess wad .... i nv know i am so accurate .... there is a rainbow .... so took a pic of it .... enjoy ....
so night fall and i waited till 10 pm cos my dad will be ready to go to work ... and i called terry to see if he wan to have night cycling and he again reject me with the reason dun wan la... tired and lazy ... welll .... with this conversation i didnt wan to ask much from him as i feeling down .... and i couldnt even find a listening ear to hear me out ... or even find some one close to me to share my pain ... i onli can hide it in my heart .... also to type it down in here ... but still .. it wont help me to erase my emo .....
22/3 sun
yes which is today .... time now is 9.05 .. and i am here blogging .... unable to play game ... now si da talk to me to play game but i am unable .... i feel like wan to tell him about why i am moody and emo .. but tell him he wont be my listening ear cos conversation with him doesnt last long unless is abt soccer or games ... so no intention to tell him ... actually early in the morning was to call terry becos he say to cycle with me and kim a few day ago .. but becos of his reason lazy and tired drag till today mornin , he say to call him see wan to go cycle a not and he say the reason he was tired ... so i try to change my plan to bball as chong and kim is free .. but sadly after i send my sms to them .. they replied back that ... chong say .... he 3 pluz need to go .. cos meeting friends .... kim ... say raining ..... later floor wet how to play ... haha .... and i rmb he say that if tml no plan which he say to me ytd ... he will go out with her gf .... so i think its better to let chong and kim have their plan on rather than blocking their path .... after my last sms with them .. i was lying on my bed ... i wanted to share my problem with her .... in the sms i explain to her why i need her ... well i dun wan to go so deep cos this entry is veri long alreadi .... all i wan to say is i need her cos i wan to tell her how am i feeling .. what to do ? cos i know her smile , her words can lighten me up and encourage me ... but i nv send my sms to her ... becos i think she is sleeping and i dun wan to distrub her .... i wanted to sms her in the afternoon but i stopped my self maybe she might be with her friends and i dun wan to interrupt her day ... so i bottle it up by keeping it to myself and to my heart .. till i am unable to control .. i think the first person to know will be her ..
well .. i now currently feels veri sad, unhappy , veri emo and i realli need some one close to me to hear me out ... so let me be it first ...... i need time to settle .... but i promise to go labrador park b4 my school reopen .... that all today .. sorry for the long post ....
posted by yjlevia at 8:24 PM
