Thursday, October 1, 2009
wordless
well ... finally i have made a conclusion to it .... sorry pals if this blog is a long one ....i writing my emo side today .... it will be kind of hurtful to keep it in heart ... so blogging does the job to hear me out ....
ok .. start from ytd (30/9)
went to sharon bday chalet with terry ,sd and pei shan the chalet was quite wulu ... hardly can see someone ... lol ....
so stay there till 10 and went home ... send piggy home and then from there ask her to guess the present i wanted to give her ... lol .. keep guessing and finally i juz give her .. lol it's a music box i spend much time and effort finding a surprise to give her ... =)
well .. maybe that day is the last time i can meet up with her and also the last present i give her .... becos ytd after sending her home ... i had found out something missing ... feel there is a hole being digged in between us ..like there is a gap ....
as after sending her home .... in the cab ... i was thinking wad is missing and etc ... so the cab headed to yuhua Mcdonald as me, terry and sd haven have our dinner ... throughout the dinner.... they will watching soccer with great joy ... while i looking at the screen .. stoned there ... cos i thinking something else .... lol .. yes our r/s ...
cos im been waiting for her since quite some time ... well i realli love her ... however ... not everithing goes well as we human plan ... so we now remain as close friends ....
the fact is ... if i dun say i not a bit sad or hurt is a lie .... indeed .. the facts is a bit pain, sad and hurt ... in my mind i did make a vow to myself ... if fail to wooing for her ... i tot of remain single ... single forever unless i cn find a better gal or a gal of the gd character like hers ... however it will be hard .... cos it goes through a lot of process ... from being friends to close and better friend and to lover and etc .... everithing take a veri long time ... it is veri hard to find one who understand u well ... cos time is needed to do everithing ...
so after typing a 6 page sms to her .... i finally let go wad my heart wanted to say .... i myself also dun like to force ppl ... but however ... if she will to find a better guy ... i will be happi for her .. cos she happi , i will be happi .... wad make her happi , i will be happi ....
the music box i gave .. the theme is my heart will go on from tatanic ...
actually in my heart still have her ... but it is veri hard to let go .. becos the memories that she left in me ... the happy times we had ... indeed it is veri hard to let go or forget ... but i nv wan to forget ... it a gd memories to be rmb .... hopefully she like the surprise present i gave her ....lol ... people will start to ask me why i took the step to ask her ... well ... i have felt a gap in between us alreadi from ytd .... that gap make me think a lot ... cos i myself also dunno how to differenate .... is like sometime i feel like we are veri close friends ... some time i feel we are like couples .... well ... i dunno which one .... veri hard to understand and know ...
but now we are close friends ... i have stated that i will still woo her as she is the one so far the onli gal which i feel great to be with and also a gal which suited my personality well ....
since im haven meet up a better gal ...i will use this time to woo and wait for her ba .. however i will still respect her decision .... everione have a freedom to have a choice ....
well ... i can see my sec school friends a lot of them have gf and bf le ... well it is like a blessful thing ... well .. i did have the thought of after pei shan ... if still cannot .. i will be single ....
so since now i have stated my intention to her ... and she know it ... we shall see how things goes on .... if there is any changes .. we were tell each other .... still i put a hold to woo her .... as for a better gal ... well .... in life ... i see about it how .....
for now ... i have realli decided .... not to waste my youth time alreadi .... i wan to be successful .... that is to keep fit now .... cutting down my meal to 2 meals a day .... muz go running to slim down .... muz try to find work now .... i wan to be successful .... hopefully ... this one yr i can present a new me to u all ..... ok ... the girl i like some of u all know alreadi ... like my buddies ... 5A 2006 , bball friends .. haha .. yup is pei shan ...
i shall leave it to fate and time .... juz wonder who is that the right person in my life ....
for now its time to move on .... i will be myself .... if got problems i still will share with her .. =)
yup .... in life .. its gd to treasure the ones who love u ... well ... mum immune system is getting weaker ... my sis told me b4 .... i dunno wad to do also .... i onli know now is be a gd son ...
however i face up with a stress that is my relatives will be asking me whether i have a gf in CNY .. lol ... haha
ok tml driving test .... i hope to pass it .... it has been wasting my time and youth ... well ... i dun have any support from any one ... but however .. i do my best for my own gd ... as i rmb pei shan say that got put in effort jiu hao le .... of coz must try my best ... well i write till here ... i dunno wad to write though i know there is more ... but currently i cannot think up properly to write ....
but wad i wan to complete now is pass TP , pass O level .... and also get diploma .... of coz ... i have target to bring down my size .... in a yr time .... i will present a diff self to u pals!!!
posted by yjlevia at 2:29 PM
