Sunday, July 18, 2010

emo day

juz back from funeral of my uncle ones from mum side .....
this few days .. i can say i myself dun even know what i am doing ....
in fact ... i have been hiding behind a mask ... why?
it is because .... i have been putting up a happi face rather than showing my true real sad face ....
15/7
it was actually my bday ... but received a call at sch after sch have ended .. that my uncle left the world ... i wanted to cry ... but seeing my classmate still ard .. i hold back my emotion .... didnt go down to funeral today cos my father scare chuan ban with it so stay at home and study for next day test ....
16/7
today in class ... wasnt happi at all ... someone saw it but i put up a smile and act as nth happen ...
my heart was at some where else .... UT test ... i not sure if i could did it well ... but helpfully i can ... after sch .. didnt went to uncle funeral ... instead i went to marina square to celebrate my belated bday .... ppl who went are jun chong , terry , mun yew and pig pig ... they are my loved friends and pig pig is one i love ... i hardly can carry on typing becos i shedding tears now ... cos my uncle ... ='( ok ...we went to eat yuki yaki .... i went there in a heavy heart ... i hope some one would make me smile or happi ... but sadly i ended up make pig pig angry becos she was talking to me and i was giving out chopstick ... cos she wan to take photo .. but after that i tried to make her happi and everithing went well ... but i was that in gd mood in heart ..
pig pig apologised to me in sms that she make tings sad for me today .. but i can understand ... everi one have temper .. but that y i like her usual self .... not onli she is caring .. but her temper is one that i adore also ... cos she do make sense sometime when she is angry ...
17/7
today is the day i shed tears .... i think out of so many funeral ... this is the first time i shed tears ... i dunno why ... in my mind ... i was thinking what life is ... life can be damn fragile .... but uncle have make me learn a lesson ... that is to live life to the fullest .... we have to aim high and do the things we want to do and do with some courage .... so as not to regret .... so i have decided .. what i have in mind ... what i have target ... i will chase my dream and target for myself .... so as not to regret ... everithing we have to gif it a try ... not say dun try mean cannot ... we have to try .. try so as to know where do we stand ....

lastly ... i dunno wad to say in here ... cos i duno wad to write in here anymore .. juz hope ppl will come comment in my blog cos it seem rusty .... no one seem to care abt this blog i feel .. well ... no matter wad .. i will polish it ... and before i end ....
i wan to say .. in this world .. the person i have doted most, loved most, nv make her angry is pig pig ... cos i love her ... she is the one i feel comfortable with .... and i hope there will be results ....
ok ... i dun wan continue ... im too sad today ... 15/7 is a day for me to rmb ....

posted by yjlevia at 1:26 AM